In a recent interview with Russian YouTube blogger, Grandmaster Ian Nepomniachtchi — currently ranked #10 in the world — basically admitted what most elite players only say to their therapists or massage therapists (he has both): chess is a one-sided relationship.

“The process of playing rarely brings me joy… You can count the moments of real happiness in chess on the fingers of one hand.”

This from a man who’s won the Candidates tournament twice, stared down Magnus Carlsen in a World Championship match, and still shows up to tournaments with a team that rivals a Formula One pit crew — coach, fitness trainer, assistant, accountant, sometimes even a pool.

And yet? No love.

Chess, Nepo explains, doesn’t give back. It takes your hours, your health, your off-season, your dignity (if you blunder in public), and in return offers… maybe a fleeting dopamine hit if you win a classical game in under five hours. And that’s a big “maybe.”

Even when he dominated the 2022 Candidates, clinching the title with a round to spare, Nepomniachtchi said the happiness felt more like “waiting for school holidays” than any kind of real celebration. It passed quickly. Then it was back to prep, stress, and FIDE’s dress code cops — who once fined him $200 for wearing a sweater with the wrong inscription.

This is why Nepo envies amateurs. Yes, the guys online who get giddy after a lucky fork or puzzle rush streak. “They feel joy,” he says, with a sigh only someone who’s seen too many Berlin draws can produce.

And still — he keeps going. Even after watching esports players rack up million-dollar prize pools. Even after doctors called him post-match to check on his 160 bpm pulse (which, for context, is what your heart does when you sprint — not when you play 12…d6).

He’s not quitting. Why?

Because somewhere in this masochistic chess spiral, the dream of becoming World Champion still burns. And maybe, just maybe, if he gets that crown, the game will finally love him back.